Just pile it on I’m used to it by now. Being a working mom can really take a toll on your heart. Unfortunately it is absolutely necessary that I work full-time to make ends meet. If I could have it any other way I would. But this is just my life for now. I pack them up, ship them out, and head to the office. It doesn’t just make me sad, but it makes my boys sad too, and THAT is just unbearable. I’m used to the “can’t we just stay home and play today?” thing. I’m used to saying, “No, honey Poppy is bringing you to school today.” I’ve grown accustom to this…they’re weekly statements. But Deacon really hit me with the Mommy Guilt today. The guilt where you’re nearly brought to tears.
I had to pick him up at pre-school today. I need to leave the office at 11:15, pick him up, bring him to my mother-in-law, and hope the 11 traffic lights from my in-laws to work are mostly green in order to make it back in 45 minutes. I’m not Samantha from Bewitched. I can’t just wiggle my nose and automatically be where I need to be. We’re on the clock. We get buckled up in the car and he says, “Mom, the other kids moms come and stay at school some days, I want you to do that. You NEVER do that. You’re the only one.” in his cute little pouty voice. Now I’m sure I am not the ONLY one, but I do know that most of the parents do co-op. There is a parent there everyday to help out. I’m just NOT one of those parents because I work full-time. Well he just nearly broke my heart. I would LOVE to be in school with him. Now I’m getting all teary again. I had to explain again, as best you can to a 4-year old, that Mommy has to work everyday to pay for all the things we need.
Deacon didn’t stop here today with the Mommy Guilt. He piled it on again with “Can’t we just go home and play outside. I want to ride my bike.” Sorry buddy. Again explaining that Mommy had to get back to work, but he would have fun at Mema and Pop’s. Another sad face that could just punch you full force in the gutt.
Then of course on the way to Mema and Pop’s we passed Del’s Lemonade and he asks if we can stop and get some frozen lemonade. I look at the clock…I just don’t have time, and again break the bad news that I have to be at work. It just plain SUCKS. No other word for it.
So what is this guilty mommy to do when she picks up the kids after work? Get frozen lemonade before going home to make dinner. Ahhh. Happiness.