Being a full-time working mom always brings on the mommy guilt, but now that Logan is older and out of school for the summer I’m finding that the guilt has intensified. I feel absolutely horrible every morning I leave my house to go to work. It’s almost like that first time you have to leave your baby and head back to the workforce. You just want to cry. Now that they are older, they’re sad and you’re just not there to make them happy. They just want to be with you. Those days aren’t going to last forever.
On the morning of Logan’s first day of summer vacation Deacon stated, “It’s summer now right Mom?” Of course I replied yes even knowing I was about to get nailed with guilt. “That means we can go to the beach today! *fist pump and little dance*.” Then I disappointed them for the first time this summer. It was Thursday and I had to go to work. It’s been one week of summer vacation and it seems like every morning I’m saying “No, sorry guys.” You would think, hey there are always weekends, but as you all know the summer weekends are usually filled with weddings, graduations parties, birthday parties, etc. I need to learn to RSVP “No,” which I do try to do when I can.
Logan was the only one up this morning before I left for work. His request today…”Mom you know where we haven’t been in such a long time? Can we go there today PLEASE!?” I knew exactly where he was talking about. He was right, we haven’t been there in three years. The aquarium. More guilt. He asks to go all of the time. I feel awful. So my mission when I head to work tomorrow morning is to check the calendar and take a vacation day and head to the aquarium with my family. A day without any mommy guilt is just what this mommy needs.