I was at a loss this weekend. The boys were bored and there was nothing I could think of to do with them. Let me correct that, there was nothing I felt like doing with them that they would totally enjoy. It’s snowy and cold outside. The back yard is a dog poop nightmare due to the weather. The bowling alley, the skating place, and the “place I do not dare” (bouncey house place) are packed with birthday parties. I wasn’t in the mood to build a volcano or break out the glue, the paint, and feathers that would entertain them for a mere 20 minutes. I just didn’t have it in me. Then I felt guilty.
Finnegan was asking to go to the park since the moment he woke up. Sorry, but this mama in the park in January is a nightmare. My fingers have a full Raynauds attack by the time I’ve gotten them unbuckled from the car seats. My feet go numb. I can feel the cold emanating through the rubber soles of my Converse shoes. Did I mention the playgroud is covered in snow?
But still there was the guilt. I work all week long, I need to embrace this free Saturday where we have absolutely nothing we have to be doing. So we went to lunch. I figured that would be enough, but as soon as we were nearing the park on our way home Finnegan started shouting, he truly thought I was going to take them to the park. The guilt was killing so I pulled over. I looked at the snow-covered park and just cringed. I could already feel the tingle in my finger tips.
“Fine, but only for a few minutes.” There it was, the smiles and excitement. They loved me again. I could be fun mom too and not let the cold get me down.
I braved the cold. As soon as I stepped on the snow I could feel it. This totally wasn’t going to work. The benches covered in ice and snow…no thank you. While they played I decided to swing. Get my feet out of the snow. I was in survival mode. But then something happened, it was like going back years ago to when I used to ski. The cold crip air at my face as I pumped back and forth. I was enjoying myself. The smell of the snow, the empty park that was so peaceful (aside from my kids screaming), and the feel of the cold air on my face. It was like being back on the mountain, something I haven’t done in 9 years. I just embraced the moment and took it all in.