motherhood

Winter Play & Mommy Guilt

I was at a loss this weekend. The boys were bored and there was nothing I could think of to do with them. Let me correct that, there was nothing I felt like doing with them that they would totally enjoy. It’s snowy and cold outside. The back yard is a dog poop nightmare due to the weather. The bowling alley, the skating place, and the “place I do not dare” (bouncey house place) are packed with birthday parties. I wasn’t in the mood to build a volcano or break out the glue, the paint, and feathers that would entertain them for a mere 20 minutes. I just didn’t have it in me. Then I felt guilty.

Finnegan was asking to go to the park since the moment he woke up. Sorry, but this mama in the park in January is a nightmare. My fingers have a full Raynauds attack by the time I’ve gotten them unbuckled from the car seats. My feet go numb. I can feel the cold emanating through the rubber soles of my Converse shoes. Did I mention the playgroud is covered in snow?

But still there was the guilt. I work all week long, I need to embrace this free Saturday where we have absolutely nothing we have to be doing. So we went to lunch. I figured that would be enough, but as soon as we were nearing the park on our way home Finnegan started shouting, he truly thought I was going to take them to the park. The guilt was killing so I pulled over. I looked at the snow-covered park and just cringed. I could already feel the tingle in my finger tips.

“Fine, but only for a few minutes.” There it was, the smiles and excitement. They loved me again. I could be fun mom too and not let the cold get me down.

I braved the cold. As soon as I stepped on the snow I could feel it. This totally wasn’t going to work. The benches covered in ice and snow…no thank you. While they played I decided to swing. Get my feet out of the snow. I was in survival mode. But then something happened, it was like going back years ago to when I used to ski. The cold crip air at my face as I pumped back and forth. I was enjoying myself. The smell of the snow, the empty park that was so peaceful (aside from my kids screaming), andΒ the feel of the cold air on my face. It was like being back on the mountain, something I haven’t done in 9 years. I just embraced the moment and took it all in.

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21 thoughts on “Winter Play & Mommy Guilt

  1. I gotcha. I think we ALL get this feeling from time to time. And especially with a yard full of dog poop and freezing toes, I’m here to assure you that it’s OK. You are an AMAZING mom. You need to relax, and realize that sometimes, it’s OK to be exhausted. It’s tough being what I like to refer to as the “mommy fun factory” all the time! I’m glad you went and braved the cold in your Converse sneakers and took it all in. Good for you!

  2. Good for you Sheri!!! The same thing happened when the kids wanted to sled and with hte neck injury all I could think as ‘Why would I want to go out there as I can’t even sled?’ but sure enough, I spend lots of time sharing in the laughter. Pure joy

  3. The Winters are so long and they can really make us feel so blah. Glad that you found the energy to get out for a bit. I feel your pain with the cold hands and feet as I sufer from the same annoying problem.

  4. I know, after working all week, weekends are tough. I’m tired, there is a zillion things to do around the house, etc. But I try to push that all aside and just enjoy the moment and the time with my son. He’s going to grow up too fast so I need to enjoy it! Although I have to say, the snow is one place we haen’t ventured yet. Luckily he isn’t a huge fan of it just yet. πŸ˜‰

  5. I know this feeling well. Too often in the winter I just let the kids mill around our apartment playing. And I think “I should take them out. I should provide craft activities.” But I honestly sometimes just don’t feel like it. We’ve all been there, and I think that those times of in-activity are always balanced by the fun things we do the rest of the time πŸ™‚

  6. For us, the snow is still this exciting novel thing, since we didn’t get snow where we lived in CA. I definitely have days like that regardless of the weather- Good for you for getting out there and playing a bit! πŸ™‚

  7. Good for you!!! There really is something so freeing about swinging on a swing!! It’s definitely a favorite of mine (I’m trying to get Dave to put a swing in our yard!)

    Oh, and I have Raynauds too! (Cold hands, warm heart! lol)

  8. Don’t you just love when something you think will be miserable leads to something good? I am glad you were able to make the best of a cold January Saturday!

  9. I can relate! We also live in a place where winter is a nightmare. We’re lucky it doesn’t snow as much…maybe twice a season, but the weather is unbearably cold. But we’re used to it I guess, especially after living here for 5 years. Good to see you guys had fun πŸ™‚

  10. I love this post – and not just because I also have Raynauds! I have never met another person with that! When I was in high school it was at its worst – my fingers would turn white even in the cool summer nights. I have to say, it has gotten much better after pregnancy (one small benefit I forget about often!).

    More importantly I am so glad you were able to let go of the guilt and soar in the moment. I too love the swings.

  11. I was right there with you this past weekend – snow and all! I ended up taking my dudes to the park for a very short time and then to a matinee of Wreck It Ralph. It ended up being a pretty good day. I may need to try the swing next time; skiing is my favorites (and only) outside winter activity!

  12. I feel guity too, Sheri. If I am busy around the house – I try to give myself a time where I stop doing whatever housework I am in the middle of and just go outside. It is the little things in life that are so enjoyable that we forget about as adults, but are reminded of by our children. Another reason why I love being a Mommy!

  13. It’s nice to have those moments and just take it all in!!! I’ve had mommy guilt lately too since I’ve been working so much. You’re a good mom!

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