Mama Don’t Do Puke

Photo Credit: Microsoft
Photo Credit: Microsoft

My weak spot is vomit. This mommy does not do vomit. Some moms hug and sooth their children as the front of their clothes are covered in the stuff. I just can’t. Automatic gag reflex. Luckily my wonderful husband takes care of it. I don’t know what I would do with out him. I would most likely be sympathy-vomiting inside a hazmat suit while tending to my child. It’s terrible. Mommy fail.

Last night the 5 year old woke up and lost it all in his bed, then on the bedroom floor (luckily on the hardwoods), then in the hallway, again on the stairs, and then finally into the toilet where it belongs.  All followed by a “Sorry I barfed.” Not even phased by what just went on. Totally like his dad. I would sob as a child when I got sick, honestly sometimes I still do. I always thought that when I became a mother something inside would just click and I would be able to handle it. Nope. I learned that lesson when my first born lost his broccoli when he was a little guy. Super-husband swept in to the rescue and saved me. As I said, I just don’t do vomit.

“Mom, sorry I barfed on your pillow. Oopsies.” Complete with a remorseful smile.

“Wow, guess my body didn’t want that stuff.”

“This is just the strangest day. I barfed again!”

“Why are my teeth chattering now? This is weird.”

“Can you brush my teeth and get out all of the barf?”

“My mouth had a lot of barf.”

He’s a champ. I’m just curious as to where he got the word “barf.” We don’t use that word. Puke, vomit, throw-up…all terms we’ve used. “Barf” another lovely term to add to the list that he thouroughly enjoyed using numerous times. I put on my rubber gloves and pulled my shirt over my nose and mouth and I went on to clean the house, dry-heeving and gagging along the way while my husband did the back rubbing and cleaning of the clothes and bedding. Hopefully this was just a fluke thing because I won’t be able to handle a barf bug going through the house. Gag.

How about you? Can you handle it?

Happy Friday my friends.

15 thoughts on “Mama Don’t Do Puke

  1. I have learned to handle it because the men in my life cannot. Someone has to do it although I have to fight back the urge to add more to the pile. Once that is done, I rub backs, wipe mouths, make people brush teeth and rinse out their mouths.

  2. Thank-you for this post! The man in my life can not I am forced to.
    Any sight, sound, smell..even on the tv..funny home videos, apsolutly instant gagging… must look away.. even with cleaning the animals.
    For my children..I’d do anything.. I hold my breath, look at it very minimal, and picture just the normal cleaning the bathroom, or spill on the floor.
    Doesn’t it play on your heart strings when they puke and appoligise at the same time?

    🙂 Tara (mother of I have lots of puke experience)

    1. By the way.. I love your cover picture.. to be able to have a glass of wine with all the caos around is a gift. I can only smile to myself when all my children make SO much noice in the vehicle a small confined space. 🙂

  3. I don’t have any problem cleaning my kids’ or grandkids’ puke. Well, I can’t really say “no problem” because let’s face it… puke is nasty, smelly and gross. But I can clean it and wash up and help the kids feel better. Myself? Eww. If I puke once, just once, I know it’s gonna last for days. It’s always been this way. I will stay perfectly still in my bed for a month to NOT puke. Doesn’t work. I, too, am a big baby. I cry, retch, practically faint with the horror of it all and then can’t eat or get out of bed for days. Days. It makes me sick just thinking about it. When my kids, grandkids have been sick around me, I pray PRAY that it’s food related, not flu or contagion. Barry is a saint!

  4. I have the husband who was in the corner of the delivery room trying not to puke when first kid being born (and he didnt even see anything!) so I was the “gross stuff handler” parent for a while – puke, poop, pee, suppositories, etc.. Fortunately, after almost 8 years spent with one, two and finally three disgusting children, he has gotten much better and we tag team the problems (I still end up doing the heavy cleaning somehow, but the immediate problem we handle together if we are able to). So gross though! I totally get it!

  5. My husband is so much better at it than me! I’m often found right next to them at the toilet puking with them because once I see or smell puke it creates a whole barf-o-rama effect….

  6. Sounds like my 5 year old had what your 5 year old had! She never pukes and then all of a sudden she sat up in bed and as you say- lost it! I’m the puke handler in our house. My husband can’t even come near the stuff, he’ll gag and add to the pukefest. This sounds odd, but I hope they do all their puking when I’m around. I’d hate to see what would happen if I weren’t home for one of the unfortunate puking events!

  7. That has to be the worst job a parent has to deal with. Unfortunately, my Hubby has a worse gag reflex than I do, so I am forced to do the clean-up, at times like that. You’re lucky your hubby can handle it.

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