As I was running on the treadmill last night I was thinking about the blog and where I was headed with it. The treadmill seems to be where I do my best thinking. I was reflecting on how the blog started. What was my mission? My mission was finding myself. Not as just mom. My mission was finding “me” time, without feeling guilty. When the kids would go to bed it would be “my” time. However, most of that time was spent folding laundry and sneaking in their room to put it away (although that still happens now). Looking back now I think I have come a long way and it all started with my first blog post. Loosen the Reins. Being the Virgo/control freak I had a hard time asking for help and accepting help. I always thought, “Well if I don’t do it, who will?” It’s not like I didn’t have people there to help, I just didn’t accept their help. Does my husband fold the laundry the way I do? Absolutely not, but he tries. I’ve learned to accept it and appreciate it. Hey, at least it’s done, right? I think that when you become a mom for the first time you forget all about yourself. EVERYTHING is that baby. All the sudden you blink, look in the mirror, and notice the 6 inch roots and dark circles under your eyes. You barely recognize yourself. If you take the time to just sit and read a book you feel guilty. You feel guilty accepting that lunch date with a friend and having to find someone to watch that baby. It took me a while but I learned to not feel guilty.
My mission was to carve out me time and not feel so guilty about it, and I have succeeded. It’s not being selfish. It makes you a better mother. So as I was running last night, with my music blaring through my headphones, I ignored the whining about homework that was happening 15 feet away from me. I don’t feel bad about it whatsoever. The whining was still happening when I finished my three miles. I tuned it out for a bit. I’ve sat my kids down multiple times and discussed what “my” time was and why I needed it. My kids now know that when mom gets her workout clothes on and gets on that treadmill, there will be no asking for drinks or snacks, there will be no referee, and if I hear any arguing, they’re in deep trouble. My 20-30 minutes is NOT to be interrupted and they are to be on their best behavior. I made it that way. For me. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Often I still find my “me” time at night, when they’ve gone to bed. I pour my glass of wine and binge on my favorite shows…without the basket of laundry.
Sometimes just shutting the kitchen door, turning on some music, and making a meal for my family is how I like to spend “me” time. I make it a point now to get together with a friend a couple of times a month. I can meet a friend for dinner after work and still be home to put my kids to bed. I come back feeling happy. As I look back at that mom that started this blog and the mom/person I am now, I feel good about where I am. I’m happy and my family is happy.
How do you like to spend your “me” time? Do you find you still feel guilty when you get that “me” time, or do you embrace it?