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Unsettled

I started as a photography major in college. That lasted all but a year. I didn’t realize that being a photography major meant having to be a Fine Arts major. Fundamentals of Design, Sculpture, and Painting 101 and 102, I wasn’t a big fan. I switched to Communications/Marketing, which I enjoyed. I interned at an advertising agency and loved it. I had a passion for it. However, my passion to have a family was bigger. To find a job doing what I enjoyed meant a very long commute and I would have to start at the bottom, which meant long hours. This didn’t fit what I had envisioned for my life. I didn’t want to come through the door at 7pm, and only spend 20 minutes with my child before it was time for them to go to bed. I always knew that I wanted kids so why hadn’t I thought of this before I went to college? I took the safety net instead. The full-time job with benefits, close to home, and for which I have zero passion for. However, I am home by 5:15 every night with my boys. I cook my family dinner, hear about their day, give the boys their bath, and read them their bedtime stories. These are the moments that are irreplaceable. I’m often reminded by family and friends that I have more potential, and I’m thankful for them noticing. They ask why I don’t try to go find something I enjoy doing, something that requires that Bachelors degree I have. I admit, I ask myself the same thing some times. I don’t want to say that I “settled” because it doesn’t feel that way. I just found something that was more import. Three beautiful boys.