Dear Goldfish,
I’m regrettably sorry, but I think that it is time that we part ways. I really don’t want to, but I think it will be for the best…just for a little while. I’m going to miss your comfort every night. You paired so nicely with my unwind glass of wine, but you see, you’re a processed food. You have always been a great companion for the end of my day. Your little smiles looking up at me from the bowl. However, I’m going to get serious and try “eating clean.” I’m pretty good at this for the most part, but I fail when it comes to you. I just need you out of my life for a little while. It’s going to be hard, but I already have a support system in place. Some motivational people in my life. Unfortunately, since we are parting ways, you will be divorcing my children as well. I don’t have the will power to keep a bag of your baked deliciousness in the house. Heck, when we were near the bottom of the bag I would hide it from the kids so I could enjoy them in the evening. I found a substitute, but nothing will compare to you. The pistachios truly seem to be mocking me. Look at them, they look like they’re laughing! I’ll miss you tender smile. Till we meet again.
Sincerely Yours,
Sheri
This just doesn’t compare to my wine and Goldfish.
DYING. I just broke up with Goldfish myself, as did my children, based upon their ingredients. It made me very sad. But we do have a box of Cheddar Rockets from Trader Joe’s in the house at all times because everyone needs a treat (and their ingredients are at least better). Though those pistachios do look delicious….
Those pistachios have been laughing at me. I have to work too hard to get a little bite.
I have done the same thing with potato chips. I have bought myself a couple of the little 25 cent bags (they are still out there) and plowed through them in the car on the way home from the store. Good luck!
Oh, Sheri… God bless you at this sad time. I’d love to say that I am sharing your grief, but I am weak and unworthy. Maybe someday I will arise and live among the angelic, like you. Thank you for sharing. I may be weak, but I still love a great post! xo!
It’s truly sad. I had a hard time walking through Target today with all those smiling bags on the end cap.
ugh. i get it and i am right with you – trying to do the same in my house little by little. love this post, so funny 🙂
Gosh, I never even thought about breaking up with Goldfish. I have to really think about this. Hysterical post!!
Good for you. It’s so hard to break up with someone you really love, even when you know they are no good for you. Even when you know they are toxic. I broke up with Goldfish two years ago when I got gestational diabetes. At first it was devastating. And now, I can really see all the important things I learned from that relationship, but I don’t miss it. I know I deserve better, and so do you! Three cheers to you for making a healthy decision. (P.S. This post is AWESOME)
Love this post, Sheri! I just recently learned about foods like Goldfish and need to eliminate them from our lives. So sad! I grew up eating fishies! I need a roadmap for these new eating challenges but we all know avoiding it is best.
I’m trying my best to eliminate all the processed stuff…but sometimes it’s just too hard. Staying positive. This a is a tough break-up.
Clean eating?! Ugh what is that?! I’ve heard of it but isn’t like everythinggggg processed?!
I can relate in this way though… I’m trying to break up with Nettie’s Kettle Corn. IT’S SO DIFFICULT! I’ve wanted to drive to Dave’s every day this week to grab some, but I’ve held out. This weekend being a holiday weekend means all bets are off though!
Oh yes, they are such an easy snack to grab and they are always around because of the kids! LOL! You eat too many before you know it as well. Best to stay away! =)
Thankfully I did a lot of breaking up before Addie was born… but those days when I feel like I’ll faint without a snack, I regret my rush decision to end my relationship(s).
Good luck <3
Haha- I have so done this before!!! They are easy to grab but so tempting to eat!
I’m keeping them out of the house. Funny, my kids haven’t even asked for them lately. I truly just buy them for myself.
You’re right, the pistachios are laughing!!!,
Those buggers are! Or I get the nearly closed ones that are just smirking saying “good luck getting me open!”
Lol!!
I began reading, thinking you were going to flush your goldfish, not sure which would be more upsetting…….everyone has a secret late night craving, yours is a bit safer than the ice cream calling me after six mo on rest, I have to try and walk before I can give into my cravings!
Also love the pistachios…laughing….when ever I see one, it will make me think of your writing