As I was running on the treadmill last night I was thinking about the blog and where I was headed with it. The treadmill seems to be where I do my best thinking. I was reflecting on how the blog started. What was my mission? My mission was finding myself. Not as just mom. My mission was finding “me” time, without feeling guilty. When the kids would go to bed it would be “my” time. However, most of that time was spent folding laundry and sneaking in their room to put it away (although that still happens now). Looking back now I think I have come a long way and it all started with my first blog post. Loosen the Reins. Being the Virgo/control freak I had a hard time asking for help and accepting help. I always thought, “Well if I don’t do it, who will?” It’s not like I didn’t have people there to help, I just didn’t accept their help. Does my husband fold the laundry the way I do? Absolutely not, but he tries. I’ve learned to accept it and appreciate it. Hey, at least it’s done, right? I think that when you become a mom for the first time you forget all about yourself. EVERYTHING is that baby. All the sudden you blink, look in the mirror, and notice the 6 inch roots and dark circles under your eyes. You barely recognize yourself. If you take the time to just sit and read a book you feel guilty. You feel guilty accepting that lunch date with a friend and having to find someone to watch that baby. It took me a while but I learned to not feel guilty.
My mission was to carve out me time and not feel so guilty about it, and I have succeeded. It’s not being selfish. It makes you a better mother. So as I was running last night, with my music blaring through my headphones, I ignored the whining about homework that was happening 15 feet away from me. I don’t feel bad about it whatsoever. The whining was still happening when I finished my three miles. I tuned it out for a bit. I’ve sat my kids down multiple times and discussed what “my” time was and why I needed it. My kids now know that when mom gets her workout clothes on and gets on that treadmill, there will be no asking for drinks or snacks, there will be no referee, and if I hear any arguing, they’re in deep trouble. My 20-30 minutes is NOT to be interrupted and they are to be on their best behavior. I made it that way. For me. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Often I still find my “me” time at night, when they’ve gone to bed. I pour my glass of wine and binge on my favorite shows…without the basket of laundry.
Sometimes just shutting the kitchen door, turning on some music, and making a meal for my family is how I like to spend “me” time. I make it a point now to get together with a friend a couple of times a month. I can meet a friend for dinner after work and still be home to put my kids to bed. I come back feeling happy. As I look back at that mom that started this blog and the mom/person I am now, I feel good about where I am. I’m happy and my family is happy.
How do you like to spend your “me” time? Do you find you still feel guilty when you get that “me” time, or do you embrace it?
Great post! I ‘ve just been realizing that I’ve let that “me” time slip lately. Gotta fight to get it back for the sake of all!
Sad that we have to consciously keep on top of it. Good luck finding your “me” time.
I definitely think spending time doing things that are emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and even physically beneficial/rewarding should be a top priority. The only way to be the best of you is to experience *all* of you, if that makes sense. I am not stimulated in all areas when I am parenting or teaching, so I have to make a point of devoting time to other stimulation in addition to these roles. 🙂
That makes complete sense.
I feel so much guilt that I don’t take the time for me. I no that has to change I just don’t know how to change it.
I started with an extra long shower with the door locked, then a desperately needed hair cut. I started doing workout videos at home, even if the kids took part in it, it was still something I was doing for me. The guilt subsides. Baby steps. Good luck.
I’m so there with you! Running is my “me” time … and, oddly, so it my work commute. Sometimes I drive in silence, which is my time to think about things, dream, plan, etc.
Yeah! We all need that time. And the kids need it so that we stay sane and rational when dealing with them! I steal mine in the morning before everyone is up. I get a run in, shower, and start my first cup of coffee before I wake the masses!
Love your honesty! I think winter is really hard on everyone but it tends to be the time when we mom’s sort of let things slip like shaving our legs, polishing our toes or really just showering. So happy spring is upon us and we can start to refocus and be the moms we really want to be by taking that time for ourselves. It really does improve my parenting and really it even makes me a better wife so it is a complete win-win. Keep it up mamma!
I’ve found that my “me: time is at the gym. Maybe that’s why I get cranky on weeks I can only go once.
Me time is so important to your health. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else! 🙂
I love this post! Now that I have both kids in school, me time is a lot easier. My favorite thing to do is just get outside on a walk or run- I need to breathe and daydream 🙂
I agree, “Me time” is absolutely essential! Unfortunately I hate (actually, is there a stronger word than “hate”? If so, use that!) exercise, so I’m not gonna find it on a treadmill! At home, long showers with a locked door are the best, with a latte and the newspaper the minute the kids get on the school bus in the morning a close second. Outside the house: time with friends beats all. I still struggle with the guilt but that’s not gonna stop me!