D – “Mom, there was this guy on a boat at night. There was this green thing in the water next to his boat. He shined a light on it and guess what? It was a COLOSSAL SQUID! It was there for two minutes then swam away into the night. It was an exquisite sight.”

F – “Yeah, and his heart was pounding like a sledge hammer!”

Seriously, where did these kids come from.