Every time I take my son to the pet store to get crickets for his gecko, he wants the newest issue of Reptile Magazine. When he gets in the car he immediately turns to back of the magazine where there is a list of Reptile Expos that are happening throughout the country. He does this every single time, and there are NEVER any that are local. Then I’m the mean mom that won’t drive him to Buffalo, New York to look at reptiles. Sorry kid.

When we got the last issue, again he was completely disappointed. When we got home I did some research and found The Massachusetts Reptile Expo that would be happening in May, in Brockton, Massachusetts. Not too bad, still a hike for us but it certainly wasn’t New York. I turned the page of the calendar and marked the date to appease him and then forgot about it.  Well, I turned the page on May 1st and there it was. “Reptile Expo Brockton” Damn it.  His eyes bugged out with excitement, “The reptile expo is this weekend! You promised! I’m so excited!” Damn it.

We packed some snacks and hit the road toward Brockton, which is certainly not a very good area, and we headed to the Massachusetts Reptile Expo sponsored by the New England Herpetological Society. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I knew there would be some lizards and snakes, and people selling tanks and stuff, but it was more than that. There wasn’t just “some” snakes…they were everywhere!! Containers of snakes covering table after table.

Now, I have a problem with snakes. I don’t like to look at snakes. The way the move makes my own skin crawl. I wasn’t always like this, believe me. I have played with and have gotten bitten by garter snakes as a kid. It was no big deal. I’ve held enormous boas. But then it all changed when one of those enormous boas, that I had held numerous times, bit his owner and would not let go. Check please. All set with snakes now. I have had nightmares of being bitten and when I type this I can still feel the spot where I was bit in my dream. So needless to say, this little reptile adventure for my boy was a huge effort on my part, and he was Oh So HAPPY!

I never realized how serious this reptile stuff was. Like there are huge collectors of exotic patterned snakes. I’m talking like $900 snakes! Insane. We went table after table checking out stuff. Deacon was completely creeped out by the tarantulas. We finally hit the last section of tables and they were all white cases. Yeah, should have just left then. Dead, frozen rodents filled the cases. Then it was it was time to go. Gross. Chalking this adventure up as the one where I earned lots of “mom points.”

See, now this guy doesn’t bother me. He has legs. Reminds me of The Freshman with Matthew Broderick.

Do you have a reptile lover in your home?